THIS IS A CODE RED INTERNET ALERT.
I WANT YOU TO DROP WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE READING, WATCHING, STARRING, FAVING OR OTHERWISE INTERNETING AND RUN TO YOUR PANTRY, YOUR CUPBOARD, WHEREVER YOU KEEP YOUR BUTTER. REMOVE YOUR BUTTER AND EXAMINE IT CLOSELY.
IT HAS RECENTLY (15 MINUTES AGO WHILE MAKING MYSELF AN ENGLISH MUFFIN) COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT WHILE BUTTER ITSELF DOES NOT GET MOLDY, THE BREAD CRUMBS THAT GET STUCK TO THE BUTTER WILL, IN FACT, GET MOLDY ALONG THE NORMAL TIME FRAME THAT THE BREAD THAT IT CAME FROM GETS MOLDY.
PLEASE EXAMINE YOUR BUTTER FOR THIS PHENOMENON AND DISPOSE OF IT ACCORDINGLY.
END INTERNET ALERT.
